My Brother's Lullaby
by MercedesAsheSorrel
Summary: A few fragments and a golden elusive 'Fee' is all Kian of Bag-End can remember of his life. They are his treasure, and like all self-respecting dwarf, he guards his treasure fiercely. AU story. No slash. Rated T to be safe. Enjoy!
1. Remembering Fragments Of A Life

**A/N : ********I am working on this story in the hopes that it will cure a bad bout of writer's block I am currently suffering for my other ongoing fic 'I Am A Lion'. And since I am now working on this one, there are a few things you need to know. **I have altered the Tolkien timeline bit in this fic. I've changed when Bilbo's parents died and when he inherited Bag-End, making him considerably younger when he did. I've also come up with my own dwarven ages and their human age equivalent. For every 20 of dwarven years would be the equivalent of about 5 years in human reckoning. If you want to know my ratio, it is as follows: 20/2-3 years, 40/7-8 years, 60/12-13 years, 80/17-18 years. I hope that made sense...

**Okay I think that was everything important, so enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing of Tolkien's**

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My Brother's Lullaby

Remembering The Fragments Of A Life

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The Toddler didn't want to get into the coracle. He fussed and cried, much to the dismay of the his older companion.

"Please, you must! Now please, come on and get in!"

The Toddler sensed the hysteria in others voice as he looked around frantically, his golden hair flying about his face, catching the sunlight. The Toddler giggled at the sight as he was made to get in the boat. The Golden One hushed him harshly and The Toddler began to cry. The Golden One hushed him again, more gently this time, before giving out instructions.

"You must not leave the boat until it has completely stopped moving, you understand me? Then you'll have to find shelter-"

A high pitched scream cut off The Golden One's words. Both looked at each other wide eyed with fear and The Toddler began to wail. The Golden One gathered him up and began to whisper a song.

May there always be angels to watch over you  
To guide you each step of the way  
To guard you  
And keep you  
Safe from all harm  
Looli  
Looli  
Lailay

The Toddler calmed down as he heard the familiar song sung to him. The Golden One took the opportunity and laid him in the boat and kissed The Toddler's forehead, and whispered quietly.

"I love you."

And with that The Golden One shoved the little coracle into the river. The Toddler sat up and clung to the edge of the boat and watched as The Golden One turned and ran away with even so much as a backwards glance.

"Why yoo want to weeve me, Fi-"

"Kian! It's time to get up and start the day!"

My eyes flew open at the interruption. I groaned and rolled over, and flung the covers off me as I did so. I had almost heard the name this time. All I had had all these years was the elusive sound 'Fee' to go by. I growled frustrated, I couldn't hardly remember anything of my life before my guardian had found me, half dead on a river bank. It had been years since then. I suppose I had been happy, in my memories I had seemed to be. But I could only remember snatches, fragments of the life I had once had. The smell of bacon, bergamot tea, and apple tarts in the morning. Sunshine dancing on a green hillside, sweet laughter on the wind. The captivating sight of swirling pipesmoke in a large room. Lullabies in the night, stories in the morning, and the elusive golden 'Fee'. He had no face in my book of memories, only a voice, for his voice had been my own then. A voice that had told others of my thoughts, my needs, and my wants. A voice that had told me tales of distant lands and people. A voice that had sung me lullabies. The voice that had sung me my brother's lullaby...The voice of my brother...I could remember nothing else after that, only my brother and the lullaby he had sung to me. I must have been musing over my dream for awhile because I heard my name being called again.

"Kian, if you aren't in here within the next five minutes, I won't be saving you any breakfast!"

I jumped up and dressed quickly at the threat, despite the fact that I knew it would remain only a threat no matter how much time I took. Jerking the door open, I raced through the hall and skidded to a halt in front of the kitchen table, slightly out breath.

My guardian, Mr. Bilbo Baggins of Bag-End, looked up from his pocketwatch and glared at me disapprovingly, though the effect was somehow dampened by the joyous twinkle in his eyes.

"I do believe that you have been instructed to not run in the halls." Bilbo began in a tone of mock severity. "And you are fifteen seconds late. You are lucky that I am as generous as I am, lesser hobbits would not have been so kind to have waited for you and cleaned the table bare by now!"

I could not help it, I burst out laughing as did Bilbo. When our chuckles had finally subsided, Bilbo gestured to the table.

"Come on, we had better eat before it all gets cold." he smiled again.

I smiled back and turned my attention to the food laden table. My stomach did a flip flop when I noticed what Bilbo had made. Eggs and bacon, cinnamon buns, and apple tarts. Ordinarily this wouldn't have triggered any response, but my dream and scattered memories were still too fresh in my mind and I felt a pang of homesickness that I didn't understand. I swallowed hard as my appetite fled me. All the same I followed Bilbo's lead and sat down and filled my plate. I couldn't eat with the same enthusiasm that I normally did and only picked at the food on my plate.

"Nice to know that you can't get enough of my cooking." chided Bilbo teasingly. "Come on, eat up my boy."

"Sorry..." I ate a few more mouthfuls.

It had always seemed strange to me that young Bilbo Baggins, not even of age as far as hobbits go, and new master of Bag-End, had wanted to take me, a foundling dwarf, into his care, just after his father had died. But from what I had learned from the neighbors, he had always been peculiar, and had always liked a bit of adventure. I couldn't say that I wasn't happy that he did. I wouldn't have been alive if he hadn't, but I had always felt a twinge of regret that I had grown up never knowing what it was like to have been raised by my own kind. But if Bilbo was inclined to keep this matter to himself, I would respect his privacy, it was the least I could do since he had given me a home. And besides I had my own fair share of secrets I kept from him as well.

I liked the name Kian, it was a dwarven name, and Bilbo had told me that it meant 'one of noble birth', but as nice as it was, it wasn't mine. I soundlessly whispered my name. It felt funny on my tongue: Kili. I smiled to myself. No matter what I had been called for all these years, I was Kili the dwarf, not Kian of Bag-End. I couldn't remember anymore as to why I didn't tell Bilbo my real name back then. Maybe it was my secretive dwarf nature coming out. All I would tell him was 'Kee'. Which is no doubt why he picked the best sounding name to match the little information I had given him. I had never told Bilbo anything that I could remember from before he found me. Not of the sunshine, the wind, my brother 'Fee', or the lullaby. Those precious few memories were mine and mine alone. They were the treasure that I guarded most covetously. I smiled to myself, how like a dwarf to hide his gold and gems away from even his friends. I don't know how long I sat there staring at my plate, but it was Bilbo's voice that awakened me from my thoughts.

"You know, I was thinking we should go on another walking holiday, what do you think of that?" Bilbo smiled as my face lit up.

In truth I knew that Bilbo had planned no such thing, but walking holidays were something that both myself and Bilbo loved.

"Maybe we'll meet some elves, and they'll help me hone my archery skills!"

Even as I said it I inwardly winced, even with my limited knowledge of dwarves, I knew no self respecting dwarf should associate themselves with elves, and certainly not take lessons from one. Of course I had already tarnished my honor as a dwarf when I took up the bow. Bilbo only laughed.

"Well, I suppose you ought to eat some more don't you? You'll have no strength for it if you don't."

I picked up my fork and began to shovel down my food, my previous inability to eat forgotten at the prospect of a walking holiday, which made Bilbo laugh at me again, before reprimanding me lightly to eat slower. I cleared my plate in record time and jumped up and all but ran to my room to get ready. I snatched up my bow and quiver, and stuffed a few items into rucksack, before running back and began my rather impatient wait in the hall.

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**A/N: Let me know what you think! ********I would greatly appreciate it! :) **I've never written anything like this before, and I'm not sure I did alright...^^;  



	2. Meeting A Wizard

**Disclaimer: I sadly own nothing of Tolkien's work**

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My Brother's Lullaby

Meeting A Wizard

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Nearly twenty-five years had passed since that day, in which Bilbo and I lived comfortably. Very little differed in our lives. But as the years past I noticed a change occurring. I grew more and more restless while Bilbo seemed to situate himself even more comfortably within the halls of Bag-End. It was a small change at first. Bilbo began taking fewer and fewer walking holidays with me, then he started putting up the appearances of a respectable hobbit. I soon realized that Bilbo wasn't just putting up appearances, he _was_ becoming a respectable hobbit. Bilbo was quickly becoming the Baggins of his name. He seemed content with this change whereas I became restless, and with that restlessness came recklessness. Whether it was rebellion or just my nature, as the years went by I became more reckless than before, almost as if to counterbalance Bilbo's respectability.

Bilbo would often despair over me, as I would once again drag or be dragged back home, sporting various new, minor injuries. I had once braved going all the way to the edge of The West Farthing alone. At the time I had been angry with Bilbo for something that I can't now remember. I had had only one thought then, to get to Ered Luin, where I knew there dwarves that would understand me. I had gotten myself lost and was almost eaten by a pack of wolves when a group of strange men garbed in grey had come to my aid. They kindly accompanied me until I was far enough into the Shire that I feared little danger. I never forgot them. They were kind and stern, and more powerful than any other being I had ever known, but then I had only ever known hobbits and they weren't exactly know for being powerful, unless being powerful eaters counted.

I sat musing over my thoughts as I shared breakfast with Bilbo. I turned my eyes on my guardian. I was not surprised when I barely recognized him. I sighed dispiritedly. Where was the Bilbo that would get covered in head to toe in dirt to catch lightning bugs with me? Where was the Bilbo that would run through the woods with me in search of elves? Where was the Bilbo that dreamed of exploring the far corners of Middle Earth with me by his side. I missed that Bilbo. I sighed again.

"Why are you sighing Kian?" asked Bilbo.

"Oh, no reason really..." I said evasively.

Bilbo looked ready to argue the point, but I was not in the mood for such a conversation, so I asked quickly.

"Bilbo, were you going to need me for anything today? I was going to be out and about."

"Where are you off to, Kian my boy?"

"I was going to go over to Regrin's smithy. He going to let me work on a few projects of mine if he isn't too busy and has the metal to spare."

Bilbo even with his limited knowledge of dwarves knew that we had a certain talent for smithing and had spent a great deal of time convincing old Regrin to let me apprentice with him. Regrin quickly learned of my raw abilities and after only a short time let me have full run of the forge.

"Well go on then and had fun!" laughed Bilbo, as he stood and gently shoved me from my seat. "And stay out of trouble!" he added seriously.

After pledging that I would do my utmost to behave, I grabbed a few thing I would need and took off down the road, Bag-End quickly disappearing from sight.

oOo

I wiped the sweat from my brow. I had been working on a new hairclasp for myself. I was quite proud of myself for the intricate design I had inscribed. It was my sigil. Regrin came over to inspect my craftsmanship. He turned and left with an approving nod and a grunt, the highest praise he ever offered, and only if he thought the work was good enough. He had often laughed at my work when it came to anything that was practical. However if I was making a sword, or armor, and even sometimes jewelry, he said I was unmatched. I smiled again at my handiwork and laid the clasp in the box that contained the sword and the vanbraces that I had made. I said a word of thanks to Regrin, slipped the package into my knapsack, which I threw over my shoulder, and turned to leave. I reached for the doorhandle, but jumped back startled when it swung open and Rehur, Regrin's son, came tumbling across the threshold.

"Land's sake, Son!" exclaimed Regrin "Whatever has happened to put you in such a fuss?"

"T-t-there's tales" Rehur took a great breath. "There's tales going around of Big Folk in the Shire!"

I laughed.

"Oh, sure, Rehur, occasionally the Big Folk will pass through, but it's certainly nothing to get this worked up over."

"N-no! Not just any Big Folk! Gandalf the Grey! The wizard! He's back in the Shire!"

That was all it took. I heard the words Gandalf the Grey and Wizard and I was hard on my feet running as fast as I could out the door. A wizard! Merciful Middle-Earth! Gandalf the Grey no less! Bilbo had told me tales of his fireworks on Midsummers Eve when I was little. I could not pass this opportunity up. I raced through the fields, in the hopes that I might get a glimpse of him. I leaped over a fence and landed on a loose stone in the road and I slipped, falling forward. A wizen old man was what broke my fall. I fell into him, causing him to stumble to one side, before he turned, surprisingly quick considering his age, and caught me in his arms. I looked up at him as he put me back on my feet.

He was entirely dressed in grey, and he wore a tall pointy hat. His grey beard, weathered face, and wooden staff, were the only indicators of his many years. His eyes, which looked down at me from beneath his bushy eyebrows, glinted merrily like a child's, and the grip of his hand, as he held me whilst I found my feet, was as strong as a man's in his thirties. He was a strange man, quite possibly the strangest of the Big Folk I had ever seen. Apparently he found me to be just as strange as I found him to be, for he looked me over and said.

"Well, here is something you don't see in the Shire. A dwarf! And dressed like a hobbit, no less! Have the dwarves taken up residence in the Shire, and begun to adopt the ways of it's natural inhabitants?" He began to chuckle at the absurdity of the situation.

I laughed with the old man. He had the air of adventure about him and in my mundane little life here that felt like a breath of fresh air.

"Not to my knowledge, no. I believe I am the only dwarf to have ever lived within the Shire. I don't live far from here, just up the hill, at Bag-End."

"Bag-End?" the old man quirked a eyebrow at me. "Then you know Mister Bilbo Baggins."

"I should hope that I did." I laughed "He's raised for nearly twenty-five years!" I laughed again.

The old man joined me briefly, but then turned thoughtful eyes on me.

"Twenty-five years? Well then you must be in you sixties as far as dwarves go."

"I turn sixty-four tomorrow actually."

"Well happy birthday in advance, though I could have waited until tomorrow, I suppose. You see I've just been to see Bilbo Baggins, who was most kind enough to invite me to tea tomorrow."

"He did?!"

Bilbo had promised to go on a walking holiday with me, but now I would spend the day being the polite host to this old man. I frowned, highly upset with Bilbo and angry tears threatened to spill from my eyes.

"There, there now, there's no need for that, I can safely bet that there are few people in the Shire that can say that Gandalf the wizard attended their birthday party." He said as he pulled my chin up.

I blinked. I surely could not have heard right. Gandalf the Wizard? The very person I had run through so many corn fields just to glimpse at? He caught me staring at him, but he didn't act offended and smiled.

"What is your name, master dwarf?"

"Kian of Bag-End."

"Well, Kian of Bag-End, I look forward to seeing you at you birthday party, and I can assure you that it will be a party indeed!"

He turned and with a polite nod, went on his way. I stared at the ground and blinked in shock for a moment. I looked up and began to ask when we were to be expecting him, but to my surprise Gandalf had vanished. I blinked again in utter confusion, but then shrugged and started off for Bag-End.

I let myself in and called for Bilbo. After Gandalf had mysteriously disappeared in a matter of seconds I wasn't sure that he had not just been a figment of my usually overactive imagination. I would need confirmation from Bilbo that he had indeed seen the wizard, and to ask why the now unadventurous Mr. Baggins had decided to invite a wizard to tea. Perhaps Gandalf had wanted to come to tea and Bilbo hadn't been able to refuse. Somehow I figured that it might be hazardous to ones health to refuse a wizard something that they wanted.

I closed the door behind me and searched the halls for Bilbo. I found him in the kitchen, sipping a glass of Old Winyard and eating a second breakfast.

"It's a little early in the day to be drinking, don't you think, Bilbo?" I said as I cast Bilbo a devilish grin.

"Oh, Kian my boy! I've just had the most shocking surprise of my life!"

I raised a brow at him.

"Did Lobelia come to harass you again Bilbo?"

He made no indication that he had heard me.

"Gandalf the Wizard was here in the Shire-"

That confirmed it then, Bilbo had indeed seen Gandalf. I grinned and interrupted him.

"I know! I ran into him, quite literally!"

"Y-you did?!"

I nodded and asked,

"What did Gandalf want here?"

"That was what was so shocking! He came to ask me to share in an adventure! Of course I told him immediately that he had come to the wrong place for adventurers, and that he had better try over The Hill or across The Water. He eventually went on his way." said Bilbo taking another drink.

I felt my heart sink to my toes. If only Gandalf had come ten years ago, we might have been half way across the Shire by now, having a grand time. I tried to keep my disappointment from showing on my face, but somehow couldn't keep it from my voice.

"B-but you asked him to tea, Bilbo!" I said as though that meant that somehow Bilbo would change his mind.

"What? O-oh, yes, well, I had to get him to move on somehow. We don't want any adventures here, now do we Kian, my boy?" said Bilbo, as he went back to sipping his wine.

I could help but wish a wonderfully horrid adventure might come knocking on Bilbo Baggins door.

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**A/N: Well I'm pretty sure you all can guess what the next chapter is going to be! :P Please let me know what you think and if you liked it! **


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